You'll find me on Duval Street...protein shake in hand...

As of 5pm tomorrow afternoon I will be on VACATION.

Hubs, Cuz, CuzHubs (I need to give them new nicknames) and myself booked a 5-day Carnival cruise that departs from Mobile on Monday.

We were supposed to stop in Cozumel and Calica. BUT that pesky SWINE FLU flared up and now we are being rerouted...

Key West and Freeport, here we come!

We are all pretty hyped for this...Hubs especially. This will be a Parrot Head pilgrimage for the Hubster.

I'm headin' South 'fore my dream shrinks!

Don't ask me how I plan to get my mileage in on the cruise...I have good intentions to get up early and get the runs in, but...

You know how it goes on vacation.

***

Last night I ran 8 sloggy, sweaty miles after work. When I got home I grabbed an EAS Protein Shakes and chugged away.

And for the first time in weeks, I had no post-work out pain in my shin/calf.

I stupidly asked Hubs if he thought a lack of post-run protein was making my shin splints worse...he said he thought so, and something about how he had been telling me that all along...

Additionally, he said I probably don't consume enough protein in general.

Sigh...and I thought I'd be one of those runners whose mileage would change while their diet stayed the same.

Chicken nuggets have a lot of protein in them, right?

The Bourbon Chase

At the KDF Mini/Marathon Expo, I got a chance to chat with the Bourbon Chase organizers:

The Bourbon Chase is an overnight team relay along the famous Kentucky Bourbon Trail.

Teams of 6 (ultra) to 12 runners cover 200 miles by completing 3 legs per runner, with each leg varying from 3-7 miles.

The course takes runners through the heart of the Bluegrass...rolling hills, pristine thoroughbred farms and, naturally, historic bourbon distilleries.

The race begins on October 9th, 2009 near the Jim Beam facility and ends the following day in Lexington at the Mecca of College Basketball, Rupp Arena (I had to slip that in).

In Kentucky we take our horse-racing and our bourbon very seriously. The Bourbon Chase brings in the best of both!

So take a moment to check out their website: http://www.bourbonchase.com/

That's where you can find all the details on the course, FAQs and even info on putting a team together, even if you don't have 12 runners!

Running + horse country + Kentucky bourbon = what more do you want?

Snap out of it!

My negative attitude funk is officially over.

All systems nominal.

After reading your comments and chatting with Hubs, I decided that walking the water stops is the best strategy for me at the Hatfield/McCoy Marathon in June.

The fact is while Galloway Method make sense for a lot of people, I haven't trained that way and I don't want to start now with the race only 6 weeks away.

Tonight I'm going to do 4 miles on the treadmill to give my shin/calf a little bit of a break from concrete sidewalks.

Kind of a boring Tuesday...that's all I have for now!

Marathon Zen

aaaaaaa

My marathon strategy before Saturday was pretty typical: run until I can't run no' mo'. Crawl if I have to.

Now I'm trying to be smart about it.

You see, the KDF Mini put me in a crazy, negative headspace.

(And I HATE using psychobabble buzz words like "headspace"-- see how badly it's messing with me?!)

All of a sudden, I'm worried about running the full.

I literally just googled the phrase "Positive thinking for first time marathon runners"

And then: "Marathon zen"

And finally: "Galloway Method"

The Galloway Method is system that involves taking scheduled walk breaks during a marathon. You take your pace and then follow a run:walk ratio in order to conserve energy and avoid hitting the infamous "wall" in the final miles of the race.

On paper, the Galloway Method looks great! But you have to use the ratios throughout the race, meaning that I'd be taking a walk break after only three minutes of running in my first marathon.

And all you runners out there understand how hard that would be.

I'm going to give the Galloway Method a shot with my mid-distance runs this week. I want to see just how "fresh" I feel.

There will be 25 water stops at my marathon...perhaps the best plan for me is to walk at all water stops instead of sticking to a Galloway ratio?

That would be about one walk break every mile. Mentally, I like this scenario because I can compartmentalize the 26.2 instead of wrapping my brain around the whole thing and thus, freaking out.

I'd LOVE to hear opinions on this.

As for reaching non-running zen, I'll be on my way to Mexico* this time next week.


* Yes, I'm aware of the swine flu outbreak.

** And the drug cartels.

*** And Montezuma's Revenge.

KDF Mini Marathon Race Report

If yesterday's race was an episode of "Friends" it would be called "The One that Was Really Hot."

Brutally hot, in fact.

Cuz, CuzHubs (her hubby was running the marathon) and myself went to the expo to pick-up or packets.

I have to say...I was impressed! The expo was fantastic!

I met some the cool folks from The Bourbon Chase, and I'll have a post dedicated exclusively to that relay later on in the week.

Me and Cuz striking a pose with the shirts.

I tried to get a free The Stick from these guys. They didn't give me one. They were good, honest salespeople. I really want one of these things. I've commissioned Hubs to make me one. It's a brilliant invention.

***

I slept surprisingly well and woke up at 5:00 am. I had several mini-breakdowns, refused to do the race at all....Hubs eventually coaxed me into the truck and off we went to pick up Cuz.

Hubs dropped us off right by the start line and after the porta-potty game we got in line.

And they're off!

Right from the get go, something was wonky. I just felt like I couldn't catch my breath. It was 7:30 and already pushing 70 degrees. I tried to suck it up-- still had 13 miles to go.

We got to the park and took on the hills full force. We pumped ourselves up to get through the uphills and kept ourselves in check on the downhills. We took water at every stop and dumped it on our heads. So far so good, right?

At mile 5-6 Cuz got hit with some serious stomach pains. We stopped and stretched, but she told me to keep running and she'd catch up. Our family was there around mile 6 to give us some support, but after that I was on my own.

Aaaaaaallll by myseeeeeeelf, don't wanna be...aaaaaaaalll by myseeeeeelf in the miniiiiiiii...

No iPod. No Cuz. 80 degrees. 7 miles to go.

Ran through Churchill Downs...this is where the heat started to really mess with me mentally. I was drenched in sweat. Sweat was in my eyes. My hair was soaked.

Hit mile 9 as I left the racetrack. I kept telling myself that 4 miles was all I had to do to be done with this mess.

I was looking for a boost here, but it never came.

Instead, I stared down a straight-away to the hazy city skyline in the distance where my finish line was buried. And I realized that four miles is FAR.

Mile 11 was the longest mile of my life. I walked on and off here. Mile 12 wasn't much better. I started thinking about my marathon...ugh, my MARATHON! IN JUNE!

Finally, finally finally I approached the finish line-- with the wind at my back! I almost cried when I saw it...

YES! YES! YES! Can you spot me? I'm in the pink shirt. What's that? Half of the women at the mini marathon were in pink shirts? Huh.

2:28:07...and I'M ALIVE!!!

I grabbed a bagel and shoved it in my mouth. I chugged and two cups of water and went to work on the Powerade. Then I filled my arms with whatever kind of food stuff I could get my grimy hands on .

Hubs found me trapped in the runner's "out-take."

Cuz crossed the finish line not long after me, still plagued with intense stomach pain. She still managed to set a new mini PR.

Toughness is hereditary.

Then we watched CuzHubs finish the marathon. It was amazing to watch the marathoners finish in those conditions. It gave me mixed emotions about my upcoming race in June.

More on my new approach to my marathon later...

I never made it to the beer tent to catch up with the Run the Ville crew-- the crowd of people trying to get in and out of that area was insane!

My shin/calf are pretty sore today, but other than that I'm great. Oh, and I have a monster blister on my toe...I really wish I could post a picture, but I'm afraid you all would throw-up at the sight of this thing. Bleeeeh.

Thanks for all the wonderful support! You guys are the best interweb friends a Slow Runner could have!

KDF Mini Race Prep

Aaaaahhhh yeaaaaaaaaaah...

The 36th Annual Kentucky Derby Festival Mini Marathon is tomorrow! At last!

For me it hasn't really sunk in that at this time tomorrow I will be running in my first half marathon. I've been training for this since December...I started this blog as a means to track my training...and now, it's here!

My goals for this race...

- Deal with my shin appropriately -

There is a 50/50 chance that my shin will go AWOL for the first 2 miles. I'm icing/elevating/resting yadda yadda yadda today and hoping for the best. The thing is, I know that if I just keep moving the pain will stop. I need to be ready mentally to keep on trucking.

- Keep my pacing even -

There's going to be a lot of excitement in the air, and I'm going to feel like I can really crank it out in those first miles...but...I want to finish strong. I'll save my incredible burst of speed (9:45 min/mile) for the end.

- Wait for it... -

Once I've slothed it out for the first several miles, I need to know when to start to push it. I think I've gotten better at this over the course of my training--- heck, I had negative splits in my ten miler!

Again, no real "time" goals. Cuz ran it in 2:45:something last year, and I think I promised her that we would "crush" that time (i.e. 2:44:something). We'll see.

Apparently there is runner tracking, so I'll try to remember to post my bib number and the link so you all can get up early on you Saturday morning to track my progress for a couple hours.

A valuable use of your time.

Good luck to all the runners out there who will be at the race tomorrow! Special shout-out to the Run the Ville Crew-- I'll be looking for you all at the beer tent!

LET'S DO THIS!!!

Energy Gels and Corporal Kosgei

Ok, time for a three-way battle royale:

GU vs. Shot Bloks vs. Sports Beans

I've tried all three before and honestly-- I can't tell if any of the products gave me a legitimate boost.

Cuz said GU really helped her during the mini last year, so I'm leaning in that direction. Any flavor suggestions?

On an unrelated note...

If you watched the top female finishers cross the finish line at the Boston Marathon on Monday, you know that American Kara Goucher came in third while Kenyan Salina Kosgei won the whole she-bang.


You may also know that Kara Goucher is a professional distance runner who trains with her husband in Oregon. Running is her job.

As for Salina Kosgei? She's a prison guard in her home country. So is her husband (also a runner). I'm sure the $150,000 for her first place finish at Boston helps, but Salina Kosgei has a day job to pay her bills.

In a sport in which global dominance seems to be beyond our grasp, we still pay our athletes to train and compete.

I'm not ragging on professional sports in America...I just found this very interesting.

Also, I'd love to see any escaping prisoners in her ward try to out-run Salina.

Jokes on me!

With a half marathon 3 days away, I should be in full "taper mode." Usually I totally abuse the taper and rest waaaaaay more than required.

But...there is that whole issue of marathon training, so I'll be packing in 8 miles tonight.

Somewhere Hal Higdon is all "Hahaha...sucka."

So, everyone with a race this weekend: Taper a little extra for me.

You know, pour out a little from your bottle of taper on the street corner for your homie BB.

This time last year...

I want everyone to take a moment and reflect on where they were this time last year.

This exercise is good for the soul.

For me, I was in the final stages of wedding planning. We just bought our house. I had only briefly entertained the idea of taking the LSAT and applying to law schools. I was training for a 5K that I was sure would KILL ME.

Interesting...

Ok, enough of that serious talk...I'm off to LOL Dogs to giggle for an hour.

The Ice Bath Cometh

I learned a couple things from my Saturday run...

First lesson: if you don't properly fuel yourself before, during and after your run, your body will stage a coup d'etat and try to bring you down with aggressive force.

Second lesson: 15 miles introduces your body to a whole new realm of pain.

It was time for the ice bath. I grabbed the tray from the fridge and threw it in the half-full tub. I gave myself a moment to collect my thoughts and then I hopped in.

I only stayed in for 3 minutes, but I am now a disciple of the Ice Bath. Not only did my muscles feel instantly better (probably because I was numb), also I experienced zero soreness the following day.

It is, by far, the best recovery technique I have tried.

According to this article, two things happen during an ice bath:

• Constriction closes microscopic damage while numbing the pain
• The "blood rush" flushes waste from your muscles

And TA-DA! You can walk the next day!

*** Remember, I'm not a doctor and I have no clue what I'm talking about. Want to talk movie quotes from Jurassic Park or my favorite Sherman Alexie novel? Those are things I know. But I know nothing about health, nutrition or exercise science so please don't sue me if you get hypothermia ***

So, the ice bath is on the agenda for post-marathon recovery, along with a sport's massage the day after.

Happy Tuesday!

Derby 101

The Kentucky Derby Mini/Marathon is this only 5 days away!

Even though I've got the big 26.2 on the horizon now, this race will be anything but a training run...

Both Cuz and I have trained hard for this and I know we will have a great run.

This past Saturday was Thunder Over Louisville, or as I like to call it Complete and Utter Chaos With Fireworks and Planes in the Background. It's a big ol' fireworks show that serves as the official kick-off to the Kentucky Derby Festival.

For all your non-Louisvillians out there, here is a little Derby 101:

• Big hats are a necessity for the ladies...therefore, they are horribly overpriced this time of year
• Churchill Downs is located in a really dodgy part of the city-- you'd never guess that while watching the CBS/ABC/NBC coverage on TV
• The Infield is as disgusting as you would imagine
• Mint Juleps are more disgusting than you would imagine
• We never seem to get any true A-list celebs, and Nick Lachey is REALLY wearing out his welcome
• You can smuggle booze into the infield by hollowing out a watermelon
• The sound of the horses thundering past the rail is worth all the trouble of going to Derby

It's an exciting time in the Bluegrass.

A Great Run with a Stupid Runner

"Oh hai, BB! I iz in your Zensahs, stealin' ur compression!"

It's a beautiful day for a run, so I got up "early" and hit the road.

My marathon training schedule called for 15 miles...I'm still reeling over the fact that I have a marathon coming up.

The first 100 yards were simply awful. My shin was screaming...my stomach was grumbling. Self doubt crept in.

I was convinced that 15 miles was out of the question. Less than 3 minutes into my run and I was ready to quit.

What happened next was a runner miracle.

The pain in my shin disappeared and my stomach settled. I got into a rythmn. Everything started clicking. I cranked out mile after mile. I passed a llama farm.

It was a great run.

I finished my 15 miler (distance PR!) with a huge smile on my face.

And it's all fun and games until someone almost passes out in line at Quiznos...

I shuffled on home, hopped in the ice bath (a blog post in and of itself) and showered. Then I headed out to grab lunch for Hubs and myself.

As I stood in line at Quiznos, I started to feel woozy. Actually it was more like impending Linda Blair-style vomiting. Oh great I think...puking in a restaurant full of people might be my biggest fear.

I ordered and then quickly realized that I wasn't going to vomit at all-- I was going to straight-up pass out.

My brain was like, "Ok, body-- I think we can work this out. Don't do anything weird..."

And my body was all "MAY-DAY, MAY-DAY! WE ARE GOING DOWN! REEE-URRRR REEEE-URRR REEE-URRRRR!"

(That's a siren sound).

Anyway, I ran to the bathroom but didn't quite make it that far...my world started spinning. I pulled out a chair and sat down right as my vision blurred and everything went bright.

I took a breather. I went to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face (just like the movies!) and eventually felt better.

I grabbed a Gatorade, paid for the sandwich and headed home.

Yes, I still got the sandwich. I'm kind of like a Navy SEAL in that way-- I kept my focus on the primary objective; and "not passing out" was not critical to the success of the mission.

Basically, I'm a big ol' idiot.

I ran 15 miles in 70 degree heat and then didn't eat anything afterwards. NOT A THING. An hour passed between the time I finished my run and then almost passed out in Quiznos.

Idiot. Me. A big one.

I'm embarrassed to even blog about this...but then again...it was pretty blog-worthy.

So yeah, lesson learned.

ALSO-- no one seemed to notice my trauma at Quiznos. Interesting.

100th Post EXTRAVAGANZA!

Happy Friday, y'all!

What better way to celebrate a 100th blog post than to announce marathon plans!

That's right...if the planets align (read: if the race director emails me back and I pony-up an additional $5) I will be running the Hatfield McCoy Marathon on June 13th.

I am currently registered to run the half, but this is a "down home" race and transferring my registration shouldn't be an issue.

I made this decision after searching for marathon training schedules, with the intention of running a marathon in the fall.

But when I looked at the 18 week schedules and cross-referenced my own training for the past couple of months, I discovered that I am right on par with the my training to run my first marathon in 8 weeks.

So, the next eight weeks are going to be interesting.

I have no words to describe how thrilled I am. This is going to be an incredible challenge, but I'm up for it.

Seriously, no words.

Tomorrow I'll hit the ground running with 15 miles, a distance PR for me.

!!!

Also, thank you all for the shin splint advice...I'm icing and got some new shoes:

Same as the old ones--Brooks Defyance 2. I didn't want to take a chance. I luuuuurve these shoes.

Today I'm working at home, going to the dentist and watching a documentary on the Iditarod.

Wild!

Hope you all have a good one!

Poor Woman's Compression

An FYI before reading-- I'm not a physician nor a physical therapist. All of the information below came from either Google or my brain (neither of which can be completely trusted for authenticity or veracity).

Proceed, dear bloggies...

* * *

I went to Yahoo Answers (nach) and entered the following query:

"Shin Splints or Stress Fracture"

There were several responses to the general "which sport injury do I have" line of questioning...and due to the nature of Yahoo Answers I could find no consensus among the respondents.

I eventually turned my search over to the experts (ie wide open Google search).

Here's what I gleaned:

Shin Splints

What: Pain the front, outer leg...often described as "dull"

Why: Can be the result of inflammation to the posterior peroneal tendon, tightness in the calf muscle...can be caused by overuse and/or overpronation

Treatment:

• Rest or "relative rest" (low/no impact exercise)
• Icing
• Anti-inflammatory medications
• Calf and anterior stretching
  
  

Stress Fracture

What: "Crescendo pain" that builds up during running, sometimes a specific point of tenderness in the leg

Why: Fracture to the tibia or fibula

Treatment:

• 6-8 weeks of rest
• I stopped reading about the treatment options after I read the first bullet

Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point posted about the subject of stress fractures in depth...so feel free to check out her assessment.

The pain in my shin subsides as my run continues. I ice it and it feels better. It hurts the most in the mornings and immediately following a run. It does hurt when I walk, but randomly.

All signs point to shin splints, right?

I sure hope so.

This is my All Points Bulletin to anyone who has suffered from shin splints OR a stress fracture...enlighten me!

I've been wearing a youth sized soccer sock over my left leg all week to serve as compression and not only are they unprofessional, they are starting to smell.

Thanks in advance!

No such thing as stupid questions...

aaaaaaaaaaa

If you find some free time in your day, I highly suggest you go check out the open question forum at Yahoo Answers.

It's basically a site where people submit questions (spelling and grammar be damned) to the interweb and wait for strangers to answer them.

When the submitter feels that their question has been sufficiently answered, they can tag the question as "resolved" and go on about their life.

Sometimes I search the archives with running questions...for example, I searched "IT Band Syndrome" and found a lot of great stretches and tips.

But most of the time I just peruse the open questions for entertainment.

It's like wikipedia only with a dash of crazy. You never know what you'll find!

Here's a taste of some unresolved questions currently on the site:

Q: "Why cant i get a job.........?"

(Punctuation may have something to do with it)

Q: "How do you become a prostitute?"

(Some people shouldn't be allowed to use the internet)

Q: "SQUEALING shower head!??"

(The frustration is palpable!??)

Q: "i think i want a dirt bike.?"

(First invest in a helmet...for everyday use)

Q: "What is a good way to cure boredom?"

(You answered your own question by coming to Yahoo Answers)

Pure gold.

Here Comes the Sun...

Little darling.

I love summer...

I liken that statement to "I hate funerals" because it's like DUH, who doesn't like summer (or who doesn't hate funerals). Anyway, I really really appreciate the summertime.

And summer in the Bluegrass simply swelters. It's divine.

I'm trying to decide on the best running accessory for the summer:

Hat?

Sunglasses?

Or Visor?

Everytime I see those ultra-lite meshy Under Armour hats I just swoon. They look so darn crisp. But I'm afraid my head would be unbearably hot and sweaty under a hat.

I used to run with a pair of Hubs' knock-off Oakleys and they were great! But...I am sort of like Gozer the Destroyer when it comes to sunglasses...they have a very short lifespan in my hands.

I used to wear a visor at lacrosse practices (back before we had to wear goggles) and it worked out fine...except...visors always get that grungy, forehead sweat stain that never goes away.

I'd like to hear runners and non-runners opinions on the matter...what works for you all?

Nike Odeon sunglasses with SPEED tint!

Race Report: Papa John's Ten Miler

My chip time was 1:40:18, which beats my previous 10-mile time by 11 minutes...

If anyone tells you that they can't run a race (any race from 5k to a marathon) even with training, please direct them to this blog.

A consistent training schedule helped me shave 11 whole daggone minutes off my 10-mile time...and I'm as slow as they come!


Let's start with Friday:

Got all my gear laid out and ready to roll...I'm glad I decided on shorts because the morning warmed up pretty quick. It was a perfect day for a run!

Homer was with me all the way. Hubs went on a scouting party in search of beer at the finish line, but there was none to be had. D'oh!

I rocked my Calipari Nation shirt at the expo. The finish line/expo location is at UofL's football stadium, home to my alma mater's arch nemisis-- The Filthy Cards.

I got a few compliments about my shirt from the UK contingency of runners; one enthusiastic dude even shouted "AT LEAST SOMEONE HERE HAS CLASS!" as he passed us on his way out of the expo. Thanks guy!

Anyway, the expo was exactly what I was expecting-- nothing special. I got some Vitamin Water and a Power Bar...moving on...


TIME TO RUN!


There were 8,500 runners at the ten miler and I have to admit-- I felt kind of lonely at the starting line. Most people had running partners or at least friends to chat with.


Don't get me wrong-- I'm a LONE WOLF. But I would have liked to talk it up with someone while I waited to run.


It took me four minutes to cross the start line and I was off! Well you know, off very slowly.

Miles 0-2 were the hardest. By far. They were flat, straight shots-- nothing to write home about. But mentally I was freaking out. At one point I even considered just turning around and heading back to the truck.


Momentary insanity...I got into my awkward little grove at Mile 3 and didn't look back.


We entered the park right after the 3 miler marker and I thought to myself "Here come the hills!"


Iroquis Park is a Louisville institution and, in retrospect, the hills are pretty brutal. People started to bonk left and right. I just kept cranking away and tried to make up ground on the downhills...


Gosh, I love hills. What is wrong with me?


We passed miles 4 and 5 in the heart of the park and mile 6 on our way out. More than half-way...


The final 4 miles took us back the way we came-- a flat strech of road leading up to the stadium. I zoned out and listened to my No Doubt mega-mix that CC made me and before I knew it I was passing miler marker 9!


There was one final hill and people were REALLY starting to fall off...but it was my fastest mile.


Running into the stadium was awesome-- mostly because the astro-turf felt like heaven under my feet.


As I crossed the finish line I knew that I had obliterated my previous ten mile time from January and I was pumped!


Hubs snapped a few pictures with his phone...I'm apparently behind the camera man in this one. You can sort of see my shadow.

There I am in blue, rushing over to the wall to stretch my calf before it revolted.


I ran the first half in 51:22 proving that even slow runners can have negative splits! Holla!


I never thought I'd be able to blog about having negative splits. In a ten mile race. Seriously?


SERIOUSLY!

As I approached the finish line I asked myself two very important questions...

"Could you keep running for 3.1 miles?"

The answer was a resounding YES, of course! I can taste Half Marathon glory!

"Could you run this entire route ONE MORE TIME and then cap it off with a 10k?"

Uh...maybe? Check back with me in two weeks and I'll have a better idea of my marathon potential.

I'll take it!

Chip time: 1:40:18

(!!!)

Race report coming soon!

Thank you all for the well-wishes-- your good bloggie-vibes pushed me through!

Good Friday + 10 Miler Prep

Alright, ok...an improvement in the logo arena (remember the last one?)

The Papa John's Ten Miler, the third leg of the Louisville Triple Crown of Running, kicks off early tomorrow. This particular triple crown is for us humans.

This is my second ten miler and my last race before the Mini-Marathon in two weeks!

My goals for this race are:

- Power through the hills in the park with confidence!

- Don't let the final stretch wear me down!

The hills on this course have quite a reputation in the area, but they aren't any worse than the ones I encounter on my long runs out in the sticks. I'll use my "West Virginia" mantra to get me through!

Tonight comes my favorite part of race prep: pre-race meals.

I'm feeling a pizza and lots of Easter candy.

Have a GREAT Good Friday err'body!

Oh, my! You look very fast!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Some E Cards


Last night I ran with Cuz again. We hit up a local park with a gravel track and took it really easy...after all, I've got the PJ Ten Miler on Saturday.

On our last lap we could hear the *crunchcrunchcrunch* of a runner on the approach so we stepped to the side a bit to let our compatriots through. Cuz, the ever-astute teacher in training, even offered a stern "BB, WATCH OUT!" just to let the other runners know that we cared.

Two ladies in their late forties cruised by, offering a little "Ha ha we are faster than you" wave as they passed.

Grumble...

We waited until they were out of earshot to complain about being passed by women twice our age...I mean, judging by their spandex alone-- they looked like serious runners. They were extra lean and sinewy, and heck-- one even had the super-deluxe-lady-runner-buzz-cut.

And we all know that a haircut like that means business!

We followed those ladies for about a quarter-mile and then they punked out. They just turned around (not even finishing the 1.25 mile loop) and were gone, presumably to their cars.

Granted, it's not like Cuz and I really cranked out major miles last night...but then again we didn't dress for a marathon only to put in a half mile trot.

But seriously...good for them. At least they were out, on the track, doing something. Sorry to hate on ya', ladies. I just found the situation interesting.

Moral of the story? It's easier to look hardcore than to actually be hardcore.

I could go and drop $100 on hot pink Under Armour half-zip and matching shorts to rock at the race Saturday...or I could wear my Homer Simpson t-shirt.

No matter what I wear, I'll still be clinging on to 10 min/miles for dear life.

And lookin' fast ain't gonna make me fast.

In an effort to further expose my bad taste in movies to the blogsphere...

...I felt compelled to dedicate an entire post to this...

In an alternate universe where I never met Hubs because he's married to Carrie Underwood, Vin Diesel and Jason Statham are fighting for my heart!

Men's Fitness asks the question I've asked myself a million times...WHO WINS?

I had two experts (read: friends) weigh in (haha boxing pun) on the imaginary bout:

"Sorry to tell you, but I'm a Jason Statham girl all the way."

-- R.K., former lightweight champ and ringside analyst

"Vin Diesel is older, taller, and apparently heavier since Jason Statham's weight is not applicable....anyway, Statham is a former world class diver, which means he's a world class queer. Vin Diesel in a landslide."

-- C.C., Las Vegas based bookie and astronaut

I think you also have to consider the type of fight we are talking about:

• Underwater fight? Advantage: Statham.


• Alien melee? Advantage: Diesel.


• Scowling battle? DRAW.


• One-liner beat down? DRAW.


• Drag race? Too close to call!

Who would I pick?

Why would you make me pick!? THIS IS LIKE MY PERSONAL VERSION OF SOPHIE'S CHOICE!

This also might shed some light on why I DON'T GET the whole Robert Pattinson craze...

I like Twilight just as much as the next weirdo, and R-Patz seems like a really lovely girl...but what is the big deal?!

Awwww, pretty lady.

PS--Please don't kill me, Twilighters.

Running Surfaces: Just Another Way I Inadvertently Hurt Myself

aaaaaaa

In the past month and a half, I feel like I've developed every running related injury in the book (minus plantar fasciitis-- fingers crossed).

First, my ITBS flared up...then it was shin splints...now it's piriformis syndrome.

I think the largest contributing factor is the kind of surfaces I run on...so I did what anyone would do...

I Googled it.*

I found this article that ranks running surfaces on a scale of 1-10 (1 being most painful to run on, 10 being the least):

• Grass: 9.5
• Wood chips: 9
• Dirt: 8
• Cinder track: 7.5
• Track: 7
• Treadmill: 6.5
• Asphalt: 6
• Sand: 4
• Snow: 2.5
• Concrete: 1

TA-DA!

All of my after-work runs (ie-- most of them) are on crappy, concrete sidewalks.

I brought this on myself!

I really don't like to complain...not on this forum at least. I know there are lots of runners out there with injuries much more serious than mine, who can still crank it out. To all of those runners out there: I don't mean to complain.

On a related note...SAND is a more comfortable running surface than concrete?! Better on your joints, sure...but running in sand ranks up there with "chewing on tin foil" and "taking the LSAT" on BB's Comfortable Experiences Index.**

* Did you know that Google saves every search ever made in a huge database? That's INSANE.
**BB Comfortable Experience Index doesn't really exist...yet.

Answers!

...answers to my movie quote quiz:

Budd: "That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die."

is from...Kill Bill, Vol. 1
Uma Thurman brings the pain...big time.

Natalie: "What is the last thing you remember?"
Leonard: "My wife.."
Natalie: "That's sweet."
Leonard: "Dying."

is from...Memento
This movie BLEW MY MIND. The "ending" is revealed within the first few seconds of the film and then the story moves in reverse.

Duncan: "There is a war on. How is it that you are headed west?"
Hawkeye: "Well, we kinda face to the north and real sudden-like turn left."

is from...The Last of the Mohicans
A modern classic! And I love the way Daniel Day Lewis says "Ken-tuck-ee."

Truvy: "In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight."

is from...Steel Magnolias
One of the most quotable films of all time (in my opinion). "PINK is my signature CUH-LA!"

Sands: "Okay, Okay. I'm going to freak right out."

is from...Once Upon a Time in Mexico
From the Desperado franchise...but this one has DEPP.

Non-Running Post and What Hurts Today

This is going to be an off-topic blog post.

Why? Well...I just have no running wisdom to impart on you this morning.

That's right: no advice to make you a slower, more awkward runner like me! I hope you understand.

This is straight from the Facebook juggernaut...my friend RK tagged me in a note, challenging me and others to play a game of "Guess the Movie" based on character quotes.

Not wanting to upset the Facebook Application Gods, I played along and then made my own list of quotes from my favorite movies.

My friends (all popculturephiles) easily guessed 10 out of the 15.

Here are the ones they didn't get, Blogger Friends:

1) Budd: "That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die."

2) Natalie: "What is the last thing you remember?"
Leonard: "My wife.."
Natalie: "That's sweet."
Leonard: "Dying."

3) Duncan: "There is a war on. How is it that you are headed west?"
Hawkeye: "Well, we kinda face to the north and real sudden-like turn left."

4) Truvy: "In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight."

5) Sands: "Okay, Okay. I'm going to freak right out."

Give it a guess! I even gave you the character name! This should be easy...right?

Eh...My taste is movies is a little immature obscure.


What Hurts Today:

My hamstring all the way down my calf to the bottom of my foot hurts today. It feels like I'm being shocked by an electric eel every couple seconds. Hooray!

Went for a run, thought I was dying, planted some shrubs...

I had a 12 mile run on the docket for Saturday.

The weather was perfect, my legs felt great...what could go wrong?

I'll tell you what: complete gastrointestinal mutiny.

Soon my lovely 12 mile training run became a 9 mile run + 3 mile death march back to the car. I ran as far as I could run, and then it was no longer about getting my mileage in...it was about SURVIVAL!

All the park bathrooms were closed and the only beacon of hope -- a port-a-potty-- was just beyond my grasp; locked behind the fence of a construction zone.

Just...miserable.

BUT the rest of the day was very productive! Hubs and I planted two trees in our back yard and built a flower bed...

...then we stuffed my purse full of snacks and went to the movies to see "Fast and Furious."

Laugh all you want, but my bizarre love for Vin Diesel is immune to your mockery.

And the soundtrack!

If this soundtrack doesn't make you want to slap a spoiler on your Camry and shave your head, then you should check your pulse.

Happy Friday, y'all!

Quick post today...

This is what my tempo run typically looks like:
- 0-10 minutes: warm-up
- 10-25 minutes: "comfortably hard" pace
- 25-35 minutes: cool-down

I stuck to this last night and BOY was I sweaty.

BIG run tomorrow...no punking out this time.

1-week until the Papa John's Ten-Miler!

So I checked out my Google Analytics...

Uh...

To the person Googled "Soffe Trash Bag Shorts" and found my blog post about excessive sweating instead, sorry to disappoint you...but you probably want to avoid trash bag shorts anyway.

And to whomever searched for "hooker radar" and wound up here: Heaven help you.

This post probably wasn't what you were looking for.

*cringe*

The Hazards of Running with a Family Member

Yesterday, my Cousin/Half-Marathon partner and I ran a 5 mile loop starting/ending at our gym. This workout was supposed to happen Tuesday night, but a thunderstorm made us push it back (ie-- I forgot my trashbag at home).

Talking while running (or is it "running while talking?") has always intimidated me...I just assumed that the more I talked the less I'd breathe.

But we chatted it up without any complications during our run. Success!

We ran at a faster pace than usual (she is a 10 min.-miler also)...neither of us cared to admit who kept inadvertently upping the pace, but I think she did for the first 2.5 miles and I did for the last 2.5.

But all in all, it was a really good run.

Oh, except my Cuz hit me at one point---SMACK, right on my back--claiming I led her to believe our finish line was closer than it really was. She blamed the outburst on a seizure.

Ah, family.

Tempo run tonight? YES, tempo run tonight.

Read any good books lately?

I don't know why Blogger ate half of my pictures...and apparently stole my Turtle mascot too.

Is anyone else having issues with Blogger and pictures today?

Anyway...

My Mexican cruise is only one month away! OLE'!

That means it's time for me to start looking for vacation books. This may sound easy enough, but I can go through 3-5 books during the span a typical week-long vacay. I DEVOUR books.

I read (or started) three books during my honeymoon: The Ruins by Scott Smith, The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet (didn't finish this behemoth) and The Host by the Twilight chick (she should stick to vampires).

Here I am with The Ruins. It's suspensful and interesting...not the mention, the villian of the story is very unique.

So...read anything worth recommending lately?

What I Don't Like...

Chick-lit is just not my thing...and I've tried it, I swear I have! Nicholas Sparks made me want to puke (toooooooooo sweet). I love Jodi Picoult, but I've read most of her stuff.

And while I appreciate the "bring back the classics" movement, I did enough of that in undergrad...I just can't balance Joyce and a pina colada.

What I Do Like...

Suspense that doesn't smack you upside the head...Odd humor (I know, you must be SHOCKED)...Stories that rely on a character's relationship to their environment...Historical novels that DO NOT involve bodice ripping...

My Short List so far...

- The Road, Cormac McCarthy
- A Dirty Job, Christopher Moore
- American Gods, Neil Gaiman

Despite my list of "dislikes," I'm really open to any and all suggestions!

FOOLS!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Some Ecards

Sigh.

Let's see...ah...ok, I have an announcement! I'm becoming a vegan. Yeah. Save the little baby cows and all that jazz...veganism is the way to go.

I've also decided that 26.2 isn't that impressive in itself, so I'm skipping ahead...gonna do the IRONMAN. So, get excited for THAT.

Oh, and Hubs and I are having a baby! BABIES, in fact...triplets! No...wait, ur....OCTUPLETS like that crazy-lady. BABIES BABIES BABIES!

AND I'm leaving my job and going to LAW SCHOOL in August! Oh wait...that one is real.

Eh.

April Fool's jokes don't really translate in blog form. Or on Facebook.