Wednesday, April 8, 2009

In an effort to further expose my bad taste in movies to the blogsphere...

...I felt compelled to dedicate an entire post to this...

In an alternate universe where I never met Hubs because he's married to Carrie Underwood, Vin Diesel and Jason Statham are fighting for my heart!

Men's Fitness asks the question I've asked myself a million times...WHO WINS?

I had two experts (read: friends) weigh in (haha boxing pun) on the imaginary bout:


"Sorry to tell you, but I'm a Jason Statham girl all the way."
-- R.K., former lightweight champ and ringside analyst




"Vin Diesel is older, taller, and apparently heavier since Jason Statham's weight is not applicable....anyway, Statham is a former world class diver, which means he's a world class queer. Vin Diesel in a landslide."

-- C.C., Las Vegas based bookie and astronaut



I think you also have to consider the type of fight we are talking about:
  • Underwater fight? Advantage: Statham.

  • Alien melee? Advantage: Diesel.

  • Scowling battle? DRAW.

  • One-liner beat down? DRAW.

  • Drag race? Too close to call!

Who would I pick?

Why would you make me pick!? THIS IS LIKE MY PERSONAL VERSION OF SOPHIE'S CHOICE!

This also might shed some light on why I DON'T GET the whole Robert Pattinson craze...

I like Twilight just as much as the next weirdo, and R-Patz seems like a really lovely girl...but what is the big deal?!

Awwww, pretty lady.

PS--Please don't kill me, Twilighters.

14 comments:

  1. I can't stop laughing right now...I had that EXACT poster of Vin Diesel hanging in my locker when I was in high school!

    And I am totally on your side about Robbie...does he cut his own hair or something?

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  2. Hahaha, I had one from XXX in my dorm...We are on the same wavelength, Cristina!

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  3. I never thought sucking on what appears to be a sharpie could be sexy but....


    anyway, RK did not actually give any reasons for her decision, so I've clearly won this battle.

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  4. Casey -

    Statham is sexy, hot and can kill a man with a tie. A TIE. I've seen him do it.

    Plus, at least he never portrayed a manny.

    RK

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  5. He also killed a dude with his jacket, covered himself in motor oil and then killed 12 other dudes on makeshift ice-skates. Like I said, I just can't pick.

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  6. And he has a button in his car that, when pressed, switches license plates out. Who doesn't want that?

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  7. Why was I not given the option to weigh in on this? I would like to point out that Vin has a softer side - Pacifier, anyone? Anyone?

    -Rachel C.

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  8. Lets see, Vin has been a Pacifier and a Manny and in one of the most badly acted movies series ever ( Fast and The Furious please just stop already)...


    The Transporter always delivers

    and i mean that in any possible way you could take it...

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  9. RC-- This was a spill-over from Facebook, you should pay more attention to what I post on my page...some friend you are...

    bhealthier: You nasty!

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  10. lol, you're so funny!
    actually, you don't want my opinion on this because I have a weird taste in guys.
    btw, they're both like...almost bald? bald guys just...I don't know. my daddy's bald too. haha.

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  11. Burp-- hahaha, baldness is an acquired taste, I suppose!

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  12. sigh.

    If we study their bald heads, you'll notice Vin at least has the option of having more hair than Jason.

    Also, you all are pointing out things that Jason Statham can do in MOVIES. His only real life skill is being able to jump into a pool without making much of a splash. and mixed martial arts....

    anyway. Vin Diesel also has a twin brother. Despite the fact that he is the less attractive fraternal twin, you can discount the fact that there are TWO OF THEM. And they have practically the same voice.

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  13. also, Chad and I are going to write a book about the life and timez of Vin Diesel.

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  14. This is pretty funny ;) I am only just getting into Twilight so I won't take any offense!

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